I don't know why I feel this way.

Just that I want to die.
To cease to exist.

...That's normal...right?

The sadness is so deep.
Grief so unforgettable.

That I cannot escape it.

The only true sweet relief would be death.

And yet...
I cannot escape that natural instinct to fight.
To stay alive.

What a conundrum.

I want to give up.
To give in.

No longer trying,
No longer making an effort,
Just that permanent relief of no more worry.
No more hurt.
Or pain.

...Or sadness.

I can't escape it.

It's there, haunting me.
Every day.
Every waking moment.
I cannot escape it.

(And I'm not sure I want to.)