An Introvert's Woes

I'm a major introvert.

And if there were a scale to measure the extremity (or lack thereof) of how introverted an introvert might be, I would be on the extreme end. Like, a 15 between a 1 to 10. Or 150% from 1% to 100%.

Basically, I like to be alone. A lot. All the time, if I could. But school, God, and other things keep me in places and situations where I need to be around people.

Depending on the individual or group of persons, the group dynamic, the place, and so many other factors, I tend to get drained easily by being around people. Sometimes it takes no more than 5 minutes. Sometimes I can go for a few hours. But never have I been able to go for more than 5 than needing to get away and be by myself, if not just for a few moments.

I used to tell people that I met (and became friends with), that I'm an introvert. That I can only stand being around people for so long. With that explanation of my type of person, I have gotten a range of reactions over the past couple of years:

"What? That's dumb."
"I know you've mentioned that, but I guess I just don't believe you."
"I think you think you're more of an introvert than you really are."
"What's wrong with you?"

We live in a world that is primarily filled with extroverts. I understand that. I understand that when you come across someone who actually enjoys being alone for days on end, it may be hard to understand from someone's perspective of loving to be around people or hating to be alone.

{Perspective determines reality.}

Just because we live in a world of people who get their energy from being around others, doesn't mean we have to call those who are different from us strange. Or think that there's something wrong with them. Or that they need to be fixed. Because they don't. It's how they were created, and it's okay that they're like that. It's okay that they're introverted.

Should they let it be a crutch? No. Sometimes life calls for being around people for hours on end. Sometimes God has something else in mind for us and wants us to be around people to encourage them and spend time with them and show them that we care for them (and when that's the case, He always gives us the strength we need to complete that task).

We get by. We survive. But we shouldn't let our introvertedness become an excuse to not spend time with people.

For the most part, I've accepted that people will not understand me when I tell them about my perspective of group settings as an introvert. And because of that, I've stopped explaining it to them. Sometimes there's a moment when it feels like an appropriate time to bring it up, and I will. At those times, people either get it, or they don't. They usually don't.

I have to admit, though, it has been rather hurtful and disappointing when I've told both friends and acquaintances about my major introvert self, and they've responded in disbelief or negatively (usually the only other friends who actually get it are fellow introverts). I know it's hard for them to see how it can actually be true that people drain my energy levels.

It would be so appreciated though, if someone were to actually hear what I was saying to them, and say, "I understand." To have an extroverted friend not say that something's wrong with me, or that they don't believe me, but to actually treat me like I'm just like them, but with different ways of dealing with people. To say that they believe me, that I'm still normal, and that hey, if I need to leave the group in the middle of something, I don't have to worry about people chasing after me thinking somethings wrong, when all I need to do is be alone to re-energize. That people wouldn't feel obligated to come up to me and talk to me in a group setting when I'm standing outside of the group, or am by myself in a corner observing everyone else, because they feel obligated to engage me in conversation.

I know that these issues will continue to happen during my life. And for the most part, I've accepted that others won't really accept the fullness (or any) of what I've explained to them about being an introvert. Which is okay. Because as long as I (and God) know my limits, I can take care of myself when I need to, and just step away from people when the time comes for me to be alone.

To be an introvert.