Sometimes Being Sick Is A Good Thing

It is about an hour away from midnight.  I'm sitting in my room, cat curled up on my lap purring contentedly, my window is open just a smidgen, letting the fresh night air in.  I heard a bird sing for a moment outside, and it lifted my spirit immensely.

I'm getting over being sick.  Wednesday night I came to realise I had the flu, and I had to skip two days of work to recover.  And as much as I disliked missing out on work and earning money that I need, it was nice to actually relax (as if you can call recovering from sickness relaxing) and catch up on some reading.

I don't know what anyone else is like when they get sick, but I get really loopy.  I mean reallllllly loopy.  Puns galore.  I laugh at everythin- no, wait, I already laugh at everything I say...I just laugh 10 times more.  And then the next day, everything that transpired between the time I was getting sick, to the time I actually was sick, is kind of a blur.  I remember it, but not as detailed as I remember things when I'm not sick.  I imagine that's what's like being drunk.  And if it's that stupid, I don't want any part in it.

Moving on.

While recovering from sickness, everything just seems...amplified.  And at the same time, it all seems really foggy and disoriented.  If that makes any sort of sense.  My brain is fogged and things aren't as clear as they should be.  And the things that are amplified are fears and worries and things I don't like to think about because otherwise I get way to stressed and anxious and that is obviously not good.

I rather dislike it, actually.  Being sick, having no work to keep my brain occupied, and suddenly things I've shoved aside and try to avoid thinking about are all over my thoughts and rushing around in circles.  They build up and overwhelm me and I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of terror and anxiety.  Which is not a lovely feeling at all.

And now I come to my point.  Stress, anxiousness, worry - those are things that I do because I'm human.  Because all humans feel these things.  The problem, however, is that despite being human, I serve a God who is a God of peace which surpasses all understanding.  Who tells me not to worry about tomorrow, because it's in His hands, and all I need to do is simply trust in Him.  And when I do things like worry, fear, and stress, it shows that I'm taking things into my own hands, and not trusting Him, or surrendering those things that bother me over to Him.  And that, very simply put, is wrong.  Because if you had the choice, would you rather stress and freak out for the rest of your life, or very simply put your trust in the One who you know will never let you down and rest in His peace, never having to worry again?  Personally, I'd go for the latter.

I suppose I'm saying I'm thankful that I got sick.  Because in the midst of all the amplified fears and worries, it reminded me that feeling those things means I'm not trusting in Christ.  And that reminder was needed.  I'm glad my sight was pointed back in the right direction, on the One who is always faithful, who promises peace.  And I'm going to do my best to put - and keep - my trust in Him.