It's always been fascinating to me to see how time brings change; looking back and seeing how far I've come, how much people I know have changed, even places where the scenery is different. One thing that I appreciate so much about being able to look back and ponder the wonders of change, is seeing how far I've come from where I once was; yet looking forward to the growth that I still have to achieve.
Exactly a year ago today, I made a decision which, unbeknownst to me, would change my life in a huge and unexpected way. A year ago today, I traveled down to the Mendocino Coast to start my one and a half months of volunteering at the Lord's Land. It's amazing to think and see what happened because of that one tiny, irrelevant [at the time] choice.
It was that single choice that ended up setting off a chain of events in my life. Because of my presence down in Mendo, I was then surrounded by people who have true, genuine hearts for God and love for others. They were an encouragement to me. It was also there that I made the decision to attend the DTS that was taking place; a decision that was based on the undeniable truth that God was calling me to go there - and it was the first time in my life that I was sure that I knew He was calling me to do something. And because of that decision, I then was able to know God like I've never known Him before, I was delivered from depression, cutting, and rebellion, and I had a chance to travel to the other side of the world and experience different cultures, as well as see how God is working in those places.
Suffice to say, it's been an amazing one year. The fact that one decision can change the entire direction of someone's life is... phenomenal. Being a Christian all my life has its merit, but the fact that I didn't truly know most things with my heart can show that I still had (and have) so much to learn. Which I am looking forward to. All I can say is that I am so incredibly grateful to God, and for oh-so-slightly nudging me in the direction of volunteering at the Land.
My Father knows what He is doing.
And I am so blessed to be saved by grace.
Thursday 28 July 2011
Tuesday 19 July 2011
Attraction?
Anybody can make a choice. Anybody can decide if they let themselves fall in love or not. I myself choose to stay away from that, because I don't want to enter into something not knowing where I am going. To fall means you have tripped, and it's not good looks that distracted you from seeing where you were stepping.
I used to think that it would be wonderful to get married. Maybe I still do. But there are a ton of things that I have to work on before I would ever be ready (as ready as one can be) to enter into a relationship. And the strongest reason for me to start a relationship would be because God was calling me into it. There are other reasons as well, but that one take priority - no exceptions.
I suppose at heart I'm a hopeless romantic. But currently you would think that I'm anything but that. And good reason. I speak and act like I'm anti-marriage. There are reasons for that.
But on to the point of this blog post. It is a person's CHOICE if they let themselves become attracted to someone. Granted, it's not always completely their choice. In those cases, however, it's usually due to the fact that that person has been seeking God and His will for their lives. And God is nudging their heart in the direction of becoming attracted to a person - the person He's chosen for them.
I find myself in no such scenario. I have, on occasion in the past, found myself attracted to someone. But it has never lasted long - and for good reason. It was simply not the time, and they were simply not the person God has for me. Simple enough.
I am in no way wanting to be in a relationship at this current moment. And not for a good long number of years if I can help it. But there's something about a man of God, who is so desiring above all else to live for God that's...well...attractive. There are a good number of guys that I know who are like that. But I'm not attracted to them because they're good friends, brothers. If you don't know someone personally though, but their love for God is evident; the life they live screams that they're striving to be more like Christ...well, that can get to you. And it can get to me.
But, I choose not to let it.
(These are the late-night ramblings of a deep-thinker who chooses not to reveal more on the topic.)
I used to think that it would be wonderful to get married. Maybe I still do. But there are a ton of things that I have to work on before I would ever be ready (as ready as one can be) to enter into a relationship. And the strongest reason for me to start a relationship would be because God was calling me into it. There are other reasons as well, but that one take priority - no exceptions.
I suppose at heart I'm a hopeless romantic. But currently you would think that I'm anything but that. And good reason. I speak and act like I'm anti-marriage. There are reasons for that.
But on to the point of this blog post. It is a person's CHOICE if they let themselves become attracted to someone. Granted, it's not always completely their choice. In those cases, however, it's usually due to the fact that that person has been seeking God and His will for their lives. And God is nudging their heart in the direction of becoming attracted to a person - the person He's chosen for them.
I find myself in no such scenario. I have, on occasion in the past, found myself attracted to someone. But it has never lasted long - and for good reason. It was simply not the time, and they were simply not the person God has for me. Simple enough.
I am in no way wanting to be in a relationship at this current moment. And not for a good long number of years if I can help it. But there's something about a man of God, who is so desiring above all else to live for God that's...well...attractive. There are a good number of guys that I know who are like that. But I'm not attracted to them because they're good friends, brothers. If you don't know someone personally though, but their love for God is evident; the life they live screams that they're striving to be more like Christ...well, that can get to you. And it can get to me.
But, I choose not to let it.
(These are the late-night ramblings of a deep-thinker who chooses not to reveal more on the topic.)
Tuesday 12 July 2011
Wednesday 6 July 2011
Twenty Questions - By Elisabeth Elliot
About a month or so back I read "Let Me Be A Woman" by Elisabeth Elliot. This book is amazing in every sense of the word. Due to certain events, and just life in general, really, my mind had been on the wonders and mysteries of marriage, roles of husband and wife, etc. I guess I had always had some idea of what I thought my role would be as a wife - these ideas being shaped by the home environment I was raised in, the different influences that pressed upon me in my life, and so many other ways. I don't really have the same views, and some have definitely changed quite drastically, whilst others not-so-much. But in her book, Elliot posed these twenty questions to her daughter Val when she (Val) had been trying to define and sort out her feelings when she was in a pretty deep relationship with her now-present fiancé. I think they're good questions to ponder if a person is looking into entering a relationship (or is in one) and needs help in regards to sorting out some of the questions in their mind.
1) Is this the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? That's every day of every week of every month of every year from now till one of you dies.
2) Is he:
punctual or habitually late?
orderly or disorderly?
a reader or a TV watcher?
an outdoor man or an indoor man?
3) Does he:
like your family?
treat you as you think a woman out to be treated?
have men friends?
have approximately the same education you have?
like the kind of food you like to cook?
come from a home similar to yours?
like your friends?
like to entertain, and would you be proud to have him as a host at the
other end of the table?
laugh at the same jokes you do?
4) Can you agree on:
sex?
in-laws?
children and their training?
money?
your respective roles in the home?
1) Is this the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? That's every day of every week of every month of every year from now till one of you dies.
2) Is he:
punctual or habitually late?
orderly or disorderly?
a reader or a TV watcher?
an outdoor man or an indoor man?
3) Does he:
like your family?
treat you as you think a woman out to be treated?
have men friends?
have approximately the same education you have?
like the kind of food you like to cook?
come from a home similar to yours?
like your friends?
like to entertain, and would you be proud to have him as a host at the
other end of the table?
laugh at the same jokes you do?
4) Can you agree on:
sex?
in-laws?
children and their training?
money?
your respective roles in the home?
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