Attraction?

Anybody can make a choice.  Anybody can decide if they let themselves fall in love or not.  I myself choose to stay away from that, because I don't want to enter into something not knowing where I am going.  To fall means you have tripped, and it's not good looks that distracted you from seeing where you were stepping.

I used to think that it would be wonderful to get married.  Maybe I still do.  But there are a ton of things that I have to work on before I would ever be ready (as ready as one can be) to enter into a relationship.  And the strongest reason for me to start a relationship would be because God was calling me into it.  There are other reasons as well, but that one take priority - no exceptions.

I suppose at heart I'm a hopeless romantic.  But currently you would think that I'm anything but that.  And good reason.  I speak and act like I'm anti-marriage.  There are reasons for that.

But on to the point of this blog post.  It is a person's CHOICE if they let themselves become attracted to someone.  Granted, it's not always completely their choice.  In those cases, however, it's usually due to the fact that that person has been seeking God and His will for their lives.  And God is nudging their heart in the direction of becoming attracted to a person - the person He's chosen for them.

I find myself in no such scenario.  I have, on occasion in the past, found myself attracted to someone.  But it has never lasted long - and for good reason.  It was simply not the time, and they were simply not the person God has for me.  Simple enough.

I am in no way wanting to be in a relationship at this current moment.  And not for a good long number of years if I can help it.  But there's something about a man of God, who is so desiring above all else to live for God that's...well...attractive.  There are a good number of guys that I know who are like that.  But I'm not attracted to them because they're good friends, brothers.  If you don't know someone personally though, but their love for God is evident; the life they live screams that they're striving to be more like Christ...well, that can get to you.  And it can get to me.

But, I choose not to let it.


(These are the late-night ramblings of a deep-thinker who chooses not to reveal more on the topic.)