So maybe I don't know how to deal with grief. Maybe I'm sick of emotions. Maybe I'm scared to dream and scared to allow myself to love and be loved. Maybe I don't want to live with this broken heart for the rest of my life [even though it's inevitable]. Maybe after having not cut for over a year, I am back to day one. Maybe I can't handle stress and pressure when it comes from family members. Maybe I'm pushing Jesus away. Maybe I'm pushing everyone away, because I just can't take it anymore.
Despite it all, I will do what must be done. I will break contact with people; no, not to be dramatic or try to gain attention, but because at the moment, it's what's best for me. And for them. I'm not safe to be around, currently. I won't be for a while, I imagine. I just need to sort things (everything) out. My emotions are currently shut down, in fail-safe mode, because I can't handle them. I can't really handle much of anything. Not that I mind. It's nice to be dead to things for a while...
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Your thoughts are appreciated. But...keep it clean. :)