Re-Learning

Funny how much things can change in such little time.  But then, I know that.  I have known that.  The longer I live, the more aware I will be of that fact.

Sadness is now more of a threat than an actual fact.  I know it has potential to seep into my life again, but I'm not letting it.  I know how dangerous it can be for me (mentally, physically, spiritually) if I give in to it too much.

A couple of weeks ago I prayed and fasted for 24 hours.  I actually had the chance to do this, since I wasn't working, and could afford the luxury of not eating.  (Working a lot and sleeping little and no food is not a very wise move, so being able to fast isn't often an option.)  There was something in my life that I needed to pray about, to surrender over to God, and the best way for me to do this was to fast.  And pray.  A lot.  So I did.

It must have been a while since I last prayed and fasted, because even though this fast only lasted for 24 hours (a short fast in my mind), it had its affects.  I broke through some barriers that I was facing.  I started praying again.  Literally and sincerely.  Not just a quick one liner here and there, because 'hey, I don't have any energy and things aren't going well, so that's all I've got God!'  But a good chunk of time being spent in prayer for both myself, and a couple of other people.

Since then, I've been able to pray with a more earnest heart.  Not always wanting to or meaning what I pray, but doing so because I really do desire to grow closer to Jesus.  It's been too long since I've sought Him out with all that is within me.

And I'm reading my Bible at more significant times.  Instead of every night before I go to bed, right when I wake up in the morning I put on worship music (something I've always done anyways), and read a Psalm.  Which may not seem like a lot, but even just getting in a quick verse or two the very first thing in the morning makes all the difference.

I'm re-learning to talk to Jesus throughout my day.  To remind myself to bring Him glory in all that I do.  To not get upset over the small things that won't matter in the end.  To be grateful for what I already have.

And most importantly, to remind myself of God's faithfulness to me, and all that the grace He's given me in my life.  Because I know where I would be without Him.  And where I am with Him, is infinitely better than any other place.