How many times in life do we face situations that make us question “Are they sure they meant to pick me?” or “Why would he choose me out of all people?” or “Was I really their first choice?”

And even though we have the answer, and even later still when the answer is confirmed, we still don’t quite believe that we were chosen for this part, that this person picked us to love most, that we were the top choice for that job.

But this happens over and over and over again, doesn’t it? Then we hear the positive answer, the confirmation, and as time passes and the evidence stays the same, we finally start to believe the truth that has been in front of us all along.

Isn’t that like our belief and trust in God? Yes, we say we believe that He is our provider, that He is our strength, that He is our healer, because that is what the Bible tells us is true and so that is what we say we believe. The truth, even the evidence, is right there in front of us, yet when times come for us to continue to trust that He is what He says He is, our faith waivers. We don’t quite believe that which we have claimed to believe when it really comes down to acting out on our faith.

Then time continues and the circumstances may get better or worse, but the evidence of His faithfulness is right there. Eventually - in His timing - He proves to us that He indeed is our provider, our strength, our healer. And then we acknowledge “Yes, yes, He is indeed what He has told us He is.”

It is a part of human fallacy to forget these things so easily? To forget the truth so quickly? To be so untrusting that even with the answers confirmed and the evidence right in front of us, that we still don’t believe that we are good enough, we are loved enough, we are skilled enough?!?

Perhaps it is a part of being human that makes us repeat these same, stupid mistakes of unbelief over and over again, but I refuse to believe that we will live our entire lives stuck in this repetitive, endless, idiotic cycle.

I think it all comes down to trust.

We say we trust, we say we believe, but when the time comes for us to actually act out on what we claim, we falter, we waver, we stumble. And that’s not a sin; not in the least. But what I want to know is this: What can I do to shift my habits, my thoughts, my everyday patterns in order to change and to plant the deepest roots of my faith and my trust in God so that I will not hesitate when life demands of me to trust Him completely and wholly?

Perhaps now is the time to start seeking answers and to begin to trust in Him as much as I claim to.