Another New Year

2017 was a year of a lot of change. A lot of firsts. My first relationship (of sorts - he wasn't committed at all). My first time moving away from home in a permanent way. My first time living on my own. My first boyfriend.

It was filled with so much good and bad. The past five years have been so up and down and more bad and sadness than good. They have been rough and filled with pain and heartache and more questions than answers and a general sense of confusion instead of clarity.

I had no idea what 2017 would hold for me. I thought it started off well enough, but it ended up being more of a struggle than I expected. Not being good enough for someone, not being over another person, being incredibly homesick and without a job, experiencing debilitating depression, having no clue what I was doing...I felt at a complete loss for the first half of the year.

But I was, at least, out of a toxic environment. And away from people I needed to forget. I started going to counselling. I started taking anti-depressants. I began to heal; and my mental health began to improve.

And then things picked up. I had steady work (even if it was two jobs and I was killing myself with not enough sleep). I was able to start writing and feel inspired again. I even found a boy who barely knew me, yet was so protective of me and my well-being, it felt too good to be true.

And now 2018 is here.

A new year.

That started out with a kiss from the man I love.

And I expect things to only go up from here.

I still have no idea what I'm doing. But I have a more steady life routine. I live on my own and I am proving to myself that I can take care of myself like a real life adult.

I have adventures planned that involve doing something I love. I have someone who loves to travel and adventure as much as I do - so who knows what unexpected journeys will come our way. I'm dreaming of a future with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

So who knows what this year will bring. What it has in store. Is it scary, not knowing? Always. But is it just as exciting to discover life as it unfolds along the way? Indubitably. And to know that I have people in my life who love and care about me, and are there to support me and offer wisdom when I need it, helps even more. Especially when one of those people loves me for being me...flaws and all.

Here's to you, 2018.

Let's see what you've got.